Bittersweet Moments

As with every time I've started a new phase in life, I'm finding myself a little bit sad to be leaving the old one. It's scary to think about leaving a job that I've done for the past two years for a new one that is as of yet completely undefined. (Don't get me wrong--I totally want the new one, and I worked hard to get myself to a point I could have a job like it.) It's just that there are many parts of the old job that I'm really going to miss. I should clarify: I will miss the security of having a job I am already comfortable doing, and I will miss the people who have been so helpful and such great friends to me.

Yesterday I put out an email over the Loft list-serve to tell all the other tutors I won't be coming back for winter quarter. Within half an hour of sending the email, I already had emails back from a couple people, congratulating me and wishing me well. Today, the emails keep coming in, and I'm reminded of how many wonderful friends I've made in the Loft. There's such a wealth of knowledge and experience in teaching writing and reading there, and I'm hoping that I've learned enough from them to carry it with me to my new job. I know they're all happy to see me moving on to something that will advance my career, but I'm going to miss them greatly.

I will really miss my Loft students as well. They have shown me so much more of the world than I'd ever imagined I'd get to see. From the life stories of a single mother from Peru, an exchange student from Japan, a refuge from Ethiopia, an immigrant from Russia, a 55 year old American-born man returning to school for the first time since high school, a young Iranian wife and mother learning English to fit into her new country, and countless others who have so kindly shared their stories with me, I've gained insight into more cultures than I can even count.

Today I spent the afternoon in my little office at Career Link, going through my files and lesson plans, and putting together my classes for the next quarter, classes I won't be teaching. I couldn't leave the amazing people who'd employed me for the past two years struggling to figure out what to do with the kids, and I couldn't let the kids' education suffer because I'd had to quit before a new teacher could be hired. I still have to look at my grade book and put together notes on all the kids to send to Nancy (who will be teaching my classes until they can hire a new English teacher). As I looked around, sitting at my nearly empty desk, and I realized that it was the last time I'd be there as a Career Link faculty member, I'll admit, I cried a little bit. Career Link has given me so much, and helped me to grow as a teacher and a human being.

From the great administrators, Nancy and Belinda, from Sara, the amazing office assistant, and from Deanna, the incredible math teacher, I've always felt the warmth of being included in something larger than a faculty. This loving group of women has created a family at Career Link, and in many ways I feel like a child leaving home as I move on to advance my career. I will never be able to thank them enough for their support and guidance, as well as their acceptance into their group.

My students at Career Link have helped me to grow as much as I've helped them. My little "gangstas" and "punks" at Career Link showed me the incredible importance of educating each and every young person. I never thought I'd want to work with teenagers, but they showed me how much fun it can be to let go and play while I'm teaching. They taught me patience and self control (often giving me lessons on a daily basis). They also taught me about helping people (with much bigger problems in their lives) to learn when sometimes they really don't want to. They taught me that people have incredible amounts of strength, and they can survive just about anything and still be really great people. They taught me that the kids who are being left behind don't deserve to be left behind.

As the euphoria (and last night's champagne) wear off, I'm still as excited and thrilled as ever to have my new job. It's going to be great fun figuring out how to make this next phase work, and I know I'll be meeting wonderful new people along the way. However, I'm still going to be a little bit sad to be leaving the old phase behind me. How could I not: the people there are awesome.